


Remembering

by lookinginthelight



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5810017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookinginthelight/pseuds/lookinginthelight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post New Earth. There seem to be some significant gaps in Rose's memory, the most recent of which being when Cassandra was in her mind. The Doctor decides it's time he fills her on on what she's missed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembering

It had been three days since they visited New Earth’s hospital. Rose much preferred the art museums and shopping centers to the cat-nuns and diseases she couldn’t even pronounce, but all the same, she was ready to leave. The Doctor came bounding out of the back hallway with a blanket and two large sheets of paper in hand. 

“One last adventure before we go, don’t you think?” 

Rose shook her head and smiled. She was exhausted, but there was no use in arguing. “Okay. One more.”

He raised his eyebrows, smiling as if she ought to know what to expect, and opened the TARDIS door. Rose stepped out into the field where they’d landed days ago- an expanse of tall, browning grass overlooking New New York. It was vastly different at night: the elevation blocked most of the light from the city, so the night was clear save a calm blue glow in the distance. She felt a still unfamiliar hand slip into hers and pull her gently to the left. The Doctor was leading her farther up the hill, away from the glow of the city. After about a minute he came to an abrupt stop. Rose kept walking, still holding his hand, and was jerked backwards towards him. Steady arms found their way around her waist and kept her from falling. Rose flashed back to when Cassandra left her head for good- but she found her balance and the Doctor pulled away much more quickly.

He’d been acting this way ever since they’d left the hospital. He would take her hand as he normally did, then suddenly find an excuse to let go, or to walk away. She’d wanted to ask him what was wrong, but hadn’t quite found the words yet. 

“Rose?”

Rose turned her head, and saw nothing. At first, she thought the night was too dark, but then she realized the Doctor was no longer standing. The sound had come from below. She looked down, and saw him grinning up at her from a blanket he’d spread on the ground. He had fashioned his trench-coat into a pillow big enough for both of them.

“Well come on, then!” The Doctor thrust a hand upwards, either for emphasis or to help her lay down. Rose took it as the latter and let him guide her into an awkward seated position. She was sitting on one of her legs, facing the Doctor who was looking up at the sky.

“I brought you here to show you the stars, but if you want to look at me all night, that’s fine too.” He grinned- teased her with his eyebrows like he always did. 

_Like he always did?_ Rose wasn't quite used to this new Doctor yet. Rose tried to come up with something clever to say back, but instead flipped herself over and adjusted until her head was resting comfortably on his coat.

“Allll-right, then!” The Doctor rolled away from her, but almost immediately came back with those two sheets of paper. He unfolded each to show what appeared to be a map of the skies. They were made from paper that was almost transparent, but appeared black when folded. The stars glowed, but didn’t actually emit any light. Rose stared at the paper in wonder, running her hands over the stars. She glanced over and noticed the Doctor watching her. His eyes were following her fingers all over the map and she noted a slight smile starting to form on his lips. 

“So what did you want to show me?” 

“Oh, just the stars. Nothing in particular. It's not like you'd recognize anything. I don't think we've been in this galaxy before. This planet's a lot like Earth- same size, same atmosphere same air. That's why humans picked it, after all. The rest of the galaxy's different though, so the stars won't look the same. Remember when we watched the Earth get destroyed? It took a lot of the stars you know with it. I did know these constellations, a long time ago, but names and shapes change.... 

Rose turned away from the sky and watched the Doctor as he talked. She loved to watch him go on these little rants. That was something she liked about this new Doctor. Before, he would only talk this much when he was upset. Now, he would get excited about anything and everything. She watched as he gestured towards nothing in particular and shook his head violently. Rose had become fascinated with how animated his face got when he was excited, and completely lost track of his story. 

“…. I'd even convinced them to name one after me, once. Can you imagine? The Doctor- I think it's that line of stars, there." 

Rose looked up as he ran his finger over a line of stars on the map and dropped the paper to prove his point. It looked nothing like him, but Rose nodded along anyway.

"Anyway. There’s nothing specific I wanted you to see. I just thought this would be a nice ending to our trip here.”

Rose thought back through the past couple days. They’d been sightseeing, pretending but not really pretending to be tourists- asking about landmarks, art, and souvenirs. The Doctor had almost bought himself a purple suit, but she’d stopped him. Rose wondered if anyone ever thanked him for letting them travel with him.

“Thank you for these past few days. They’ve been lovely.”

The Doctor shifted his body a little. He was now facing her more than the stars.

“You’re welcome. I thought it’d be nice to relax a little after the hospital. I figured you’d had a rough day.” 

“Well, no more rough than usual, right? Cat nuns farming humans, alien diseases…I’m used to it now.”

“Rose,” the Doctor had now completely turned onto his shoulder and was looking at her. He put a hand lightly on her arm. Rose wondered if he could feel her pulse start to quicken. “Cassandra was in your mind. Humans aren’t made for that. I was fine, because Time Lords are telepathic. My mind is more…um…stretchy than yours. And it still wasn’t pleasant.” 

He paused, as if he were searching for words. “...What did it feel like?” 

“I don’t know.” 

The Doctor was staring at her, waiting for more. She didn’t think she’d seen him this quiet since he’d changed. The night shaded his eyes too much for her to read how he was feeling. Rose decided she’d try to explain.

“Well, I only remember right as she went into me and right as she came out. The rest is just a blur, like waking from a dream.”

“Do you remember any other parts, like in a dream?”

“No. No, just when it was only me.”

“Oh.” The Doctor sounded disappointed, but looked oddly relieved.

“Why?”

“Oh, no reason.” The Doctor flipped back onto his back and picked up the map. He looked like he was searching for some planet to tell her about. He had dropped the conversation way too quickly.

Rose spoke before he could change the subject. “Wait. What did I miss? What happened?”

“Um.”

Rose had turned up onto her shoulder so she could see the Doctor’s face now. His eyes frantically moved from the map to the sky.

“Doctor.”

“Ok. Well, you..no. Cassandra….no. Or, well, Cassandra-you sort of, um, kissed me.” The Doctor’s eyes stayed focused on the map in his hands.

Rose closed her eyes and tried to find a memory. Surely she would remember kissing the Doctor. She’d wondered about those lips several times - before and after he’d changed.

“Oh?” It was all she could think to say. _I kissed him? Sure, it was Cassandra and not me, but what does that-_ the Doctor cut off her train of thoughts.

“Yes, but I knew something was wrong.”

“With me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Oh, it was just strange. I just didn’t think you’d kiss me like that.” A faint smirk was forming on the Doctor's lips. Rose only noticed because she couldn't seem to take her eyes off of them.

“Like _that_?” She pretended to be put off by his arrogance, but she was more curious than anything.

“Yeah, uh…that’s not how you’d kiss me. I don’t know. It made sense at the time….And I was right, that’s all that really matters.”

Rose smiled. She'd shaken his confidence. “No, what matters is how you think you know how I’d kiss you. How are you supposed to know that?”

The Doctor rolled over on his side, facing her. That ancient, sad look had crept back into his eyes. She hated and loved it all the same. His new, brown eyes were such a change from that bright blue, and they seemed to hold so much more pain. Even if the new Doctor bounced around a lot more, he still held that same sadness.

“Do you remember when you looked into the Time Vortex?”

“Yeah…why?” Rose had just about given up trying to follow associations the Doctor made in his head.

“What do you remember?”

“Looking into the TARDIS, a bright yellow light, and an awful pain in my head. Next thing I knew, you were glowing and your head was exploding.”

“Rose, you know that’s not what happens, I just regenera…that’s not the point. I took the time vortex from you. That’s why I was dying. Do you remember that?”

Rose tried to bring back the memory. She couldn’t. She had a faint image though- her old Doctor with glowing eyes.

“Yes. You had yellow eyes. And then you went back to normal. Before you regenerated.”

“Yes! What else?”

Rose closed her eyes. “Nothing. I don’t remember anything else.”

The Doctor had shifted closer to her. They were now facing each other, just inches apart. Rose gave in to the urge to rest her hand on his chest- feeling his right heart hold a slow, steady rhythm. Hers, in contrast, was racing. The Doctor was looking at her, studying her face. He put an arm around her back, cradling her into his body.

“Nothing?” 

“Nothing.”

Just as she finished the word, he pulled her closer, and their lips met. Rose’s nails dug into his chest, and she felt both hearts beating erratically, out of sync. His bottom arm slid around her waist, so that her body completely followed the curve of his. Then she remembered. A bright light. A terrible pain in her head. Opening her eyes to her doctor, with his arms wrapped around her, just inches away from her face. He had kissed her. He had saved her life. He had sacrificed himself. _Her_ Doctor. 

Rose opened her eyes. Here was the same man, just with a different face, looking at her expectantly. 

“My Doctor,” she whispered, and kissed him again. This time she let herself explore. She had to- he was something new. Her tongue followed along his lips, that had so often pouted for effect. He even seemed shocked at first, but he gently parted her lips with the help of his own. She pulled him towards her, until he was nearly covering her body with his own. Suddenly, he pulled away. He readjusted both of them, so that they were lying on their sides but she was still wrapped in his arms. Rose tried to protest. The Doctor's willingness to let her that close had disappeared as quickly as it had come. 

The look he was giving her silenced anything she was thinking of saying. His lips were parted in a smile that reached up to his now-brown eyes. It made something inside Rose melt. _I guess I can get used to this face._

The Doctor loosened his hold on Rose and brushed his hand lightly through her hair. Rose remained perfectly still, eyes locked on The Doctor. He craned his neck forward. He kissed her lips, her eyelids, her forehead.

“ _My_ Rose.” It was barely a whisper.

Her lips again.

Rose looked up at the Doctor, her face breaking out into a toothy grin to match his. She wanted to have something to say. Something follow what had just happened, but it wasn’t necessary. The Doctor turned onto his back and Rose rested her head on his chest. They looked at the stars, and Rose let his heartbeats lull her to sleep.

–

Rose awoke to a gentle breeze and a light kiss on her forehead. She found herself lying on the ground wrapped in the Doctor’s trench-coat, with him kneeling next to her. Rose was confused.

“Good morning!”

His hand was outstretched towards her, waiting. Rose was still confused. She took it and groggily stood up. Rose was not prepared to stand this soon after waking and fell forward. She found herself being stabilized by the Doctor’s arms with her face pressed into his chest. She inhaled the smell of his suit and memories from last night flooded back. Rose smiled and wrapped her arms around her Doctor.

“Good morning, Doctor. Where are we off to now?”

The Doctor knelt down to fold up the blanket.

“I was thinking we’d go back to old Earth. We should see a concert. What do you think?" The Doctor had interrupted himself, rattling on about some band she’d never heard of. Rose nodded and took his hand, and they walked together back to the TARDIS.

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from whofic


End file.
